The Big Day
The story is about a man who races to a chapel on a girl's wedding day to stop the marriage. The girl seems to be waiting for him as he speeds through traffic in order to make it to her before it is too late. Right before they say their "I do's", he runs in just in time to stop it.
Notes:
Who: The guy who is driving the car, bride, bridesmaids, other man (father), priest, groom
What: the driver is going fast, gripping wheel, marriage ceremony, interrupts wedding
When: current
Where: A long twisted road, forrest, middle of nowhere, beach, bridge, mountains, city, church
Why: The driver was driving in order to stop the wedding
How: by speeding over in his new car
Other: Driver seems anxious, bride seems happy, other man is older, he's the brides father, bride is nervous, driver checks his clock, father checks his clock (ooooh??), bride is looking for something/one, wife sees man, heavy breathing
Interviews:
Driver:
What is your name?
"My name is Freddy Baker."
How do you know the bride?
"We were engaged for 2 years before she left me for Jake, her current fiancé."
Why did you try to stop the wedding?
"She believed that we couldn't be together because her mother wanted her to be with Jake, but I didn't think that that would still matter after her mother left her. I wanted to have one last chance before she left me for good."
Father:
What is your name?
"My name is Daniel Taylor."
Why was the mother of the bride not present at the wedding?
"Karen, my ex wife, was not in a good lace at the time. She was obsessed with the idea that Noa would be rich by the time she was married, and did not approve of her ex fiancé, Freddy. She was so angry that Noa did not want to marry Jake that she fled to Colorado. I haven't seen her in two years, we had the divorce papers signed over mail."
Why did Noa not want to marry Jake?
"Noa was very confused at the time. She did not know what she wanted, but it sure was not whatever her mother wanted."
Bride:
What is your name?
"My name is Noa Stevens."
How do you know Freddy?
"Freddy was my fiancé before Jake."
Why did you end your relationship with Freddy?
"We were together for a couple years, but I broke it off after some family issues. It was not a big deal, but I would have never thought Freddy would be so possessive. I have always thought he had some sense to him. This is just so out of character."
Groom:
What is your name?
"My name is Jake Stevens."
Did you know about Freddy?
"No, actually. Noa has never mentioned him before to me. I had no clue they knew each other, much less were engaged for 2 years. I was only engaged for 6 months with Noa, it seems odd how quick it was compared to her past engagement."
How did you react when you first saw Freddy enter the room?
"Honestly, I was just really confused. Noa looked so hurt, I've never seem her that way before. I just wanted her to be happy, so I decided not to interfere. I'm very glad she chose me, but it hurt my feelings that she was dishonest with me. I don't see why you would want to keep someone so important a secret."
"She believed that we couldn't be together because her mother wanted her to be with Jake, but I didn't think that that would still matter after her mother left her. I wanted to have one last chance before she left me for good," Baker said.
Although Noa was in a serious relationship with Freddy before the marriage, she did not mention this to Jake.
Although Baker did not approve of the wedding, Noa still put a ring on it.
"Honestly, I was just really confused. Noa looked so hurt, I've never seem her that way before. I just wanted her to be happy, so I decided not to interfere. I'm very glad she chose me, but it hurt my feelings that she was dishonest with me. I don't see why you would want to keep someone so important a secret," said Jake.
Notes:
Who: The guy who is driving the car, bride, bridesmaids, other man (father), priest, groom
What: the driver is going fast, gripping wheel, marriage ceremony, interrupts wedding
When: current
Where: A long twisted road, forrest, middle of nowhere, beach, bridge, mountains, city, church
Why: The driver was driving in order to stop the wedding
How: by speeding over in his new car
Other: Driver seems anxious, bride seems happy, other man is older, he's the brides father, bride is nervous, driver checks his clock, father checks his clock (ooooh??), bride is looking for something/one, wife sees man, heavy breathing
Interviews:
Driver:
What is your name?
"My name is Freddy Baker."
How do you know the bride?
"We were engaged for 2 years before she left me for Jake, her current fiancé."
Why did you try to stop the wedding?
"She believed that we couldn't be together because her mother wanted her to be with Jake, but I didn't think that that would still matter after her mother left her. I wanted to have one last chance before she left me for good."
Father:
What is your name?
"My name is Daniel Taylor."
Why was the mother of the bride not present at the wedding?
"Karen, my ex wife, was not in a good lace at the time. She was obsessed with the idea that Noa would be rich by the time she was married, and did not approve of her ex fiancé, Freddy. She was so angry that Noa did not want to marry Jake that she fled to Colorado. I haven't seen her in two years, we had the divorce papers signed over mail."
Why did Noa not want to marry Jake?
"Noa was very confused at the time. She did not know what she wanted, but it sure was not whatever her mother wanted."
Bride:
What is your name?
"My name is Noa Stevens."
How do you know Freddy?
"Freddy was my fiancé before Jake."
Why did you end your relationship with Freddy?
"We were together for a couple years, but I broke it off after some family issues. It was not a big deal, but I would have never thought Freddy would be so possessive. I have always thought he had some sense to him. This is just so out of character."
Groom:
What is your name?
"My name is Jake Stevens."
Did you know about Freddy?
"No, actually. Noa has never mentioned him before to me. I had no clue they knew each other, much less were engaged for 2 years. I was only engaged for 6 months with Noa, it seems odd how quick it was compared to her past engagement."
How did you react when you first saw Freddy enter the room?
"Honestly, I was just really confused. Noa looked so hurt, I've never seem her that way before. I just wanted her to be happy, so I decided not to interfere. I'm very glad she chose me, but it hurt my feelings that she was dishonest with me. I don't see why you would want to keep someone so important a secret."
The Big Day
On June 24, 2017 in Dallas, Texas, Noa and Jake Stevens woke up early to prepare for the day that every girl dreams of; Their wedding day. Flowers rested in their crystal vases as food was placed on grand displays. Every thing seemed to be going to plan, until someone could not hold their peace.
Freddy Baker was the ex-fiance of Noa, and also an intruder at her wedding.
"We were engaged for 2 years before she left me for Jake, her current fiancé," Baker said.
"We were engaged for 2 years before she left me for Jake, her current fiancé," Baker said.
After running into the wedding to protest the marriage, many people raised their eyebrows towards his actions.
"She believed that we couldn't be together because her mother wanted her to be with Jake, but I didn't think that that would still matter after her mother left her. I wanted to have one last chance before she left me for good," Baker said.
The mother of the bride was not present at the wedding.
"Karen, my ex wife, was not in a good lace at the time. She was obsessed with the idea that Noa would be rich by the time she was married, and did not approve of her ex fiancé, Freddy. She was so angry that Noa did not want to marry Jake that she fled to Colorado. I haven't seen her in two years, we had the divorce papers signed over mail," said the father Daniel Taylor.
"Karen, my ex wife, was not in a good lace at the time. She was obsessed with the idea that Noa would be rich by the time she was married, and did not approve of her ex fiancé, Freddy. She was so angry that Noa did not want to marry Jake that she fled to Colorado. I haven't seen her in two years, we had the divorce papers signed over mail," said the father Daniel Taylor.
Although the couple seemed as happy as could be, some doubts sprouted early in the marriage.
"Noa was very confused at the time (of dating Freddy). She did not know what she wanted, but it sure was not whatever her mother wanted," said Taylor.
Although Noa was in a serious relationship with Freddy before the marriage, she did not mention this to Jake.
"Noa has never mentioned him before to me. I had no clue they knew each other, much less were engaged for 2 years," said Jake. "I was only engaged for 6 months with Noa, it seems odd how quick it was compared to her past engagement."
"Honestly, I was just really confused. Noa looked so hurt, I've never seem her that way before. I just wanted her to be happy, so I decided not to interfere. I'm very glad she chose me, but it hurt my feelings that she was dishonest with me. I don't see why you would want to keep someone so important a secret," said Jake.
The story is interesting, but your style and structure is off. You will learn more today on what this should look like and you will have a chance to fix. In addition your attributions are not correct, again fixable. Overall I liked the story, but the non-journalistic style hurts the overall effort.
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